The "why's" behind your wants

That thing you’re after...

• The job

• The fit bod

• The bigger house

• The acknowledgement

• The first place finish

There's a reason you want it.

And if you dig deep enough.

And get really honest with yourself.

You'll uncover a deeper yearning beneath it.

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Wanting is not inherently bad or wrong.

But we get ourselves into trouble when we pour our energy into pursuing the want.

And brush off our deeper longings.

Because we often find that “the thing" we go after…

Doesn't actually fulfill us.

So naturally, we go after the next thing.

And the next thing.

And find ourselves in a never-ending loop of wanting / striving.

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When you learn to explore the longings beneath your desires,

A new world opens up.

A world where you experience more awareness and clarity.

Where you can find peace and ease in the present moment.

And feel free to more consciously choose what you do pursue.

Rather than moving through life in a trance, chasing thing after thing.

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My coaching clients often have clear, surface-level wants.

They may want to advance to the next level of leadership.

Or to build more spaciousness into their life.

Or to become better at honouring commitments to themselves.

—

I enjoy supporting them in their pursuit of these specific goals.

But the real value I offer is in helping them tap into their deeper longings.

Ensuring we’re both abundantly clear on why their goals matter.

Uncovering what’s at the root of their desires.

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We often see the goal shift once we bring those deeper needs into awareness.

A more direct route to addressing their longings suddenly opens up.

(That direct route often takes the form of mindfulness and self-compassion practices)

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In other cases, the goal remains unchanged.

But the client’s conviction is enhanced.

Because they’re now clear on why it matters to them so much.

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Are you finding yourself entranced by a want?

Here’s an exercise to help you shift out of the trance and uncover the deeper longing.

• Find a still, comfortable position

• Take a few long breaths as you tune into your body

• Bring to mind whatever it is that you’re wanting

• Get curious: What are you believing this “thing” will offer you?

• Ask yourself: What is it you truly want?

• Ask again: What is it you truly want?

  • Notice if you’re judging whatever comes up and hold yourself with the utmost compassion

  • Repeat until you feel like you’re at the heart of the longing.

  • Hint: you’re likely to find it’s some flavour of love or peace

• Consider: Is it true that what you most long for is already present, here and now?

• Explore: What gesture can you offer yourself, right now, to fulfill, in some small part, that deeper longing?

You may find this reflection takes you in a very different direction than if you kept your attention at the surface-level.

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Fulfilment isn’t waiting for you on the other side of the finish line.

It’s accessible to you right here, right now.

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