How to embrace a coaching mindset
Coaching skills are becoming increasingly valuable as a leadership competency. Here are 5 tips for having better coaching conversations as a leader.
1. Listen more, speak less
Begin by simply noticing how much of the airspace you’re taking up in your coaching conversations.
Then strive to get to a point where you’re speaking much less than the person you’re coaching.
How?
- By asking powerful, open-ended questions.
The space between your words is where your coachee will find their own clarity and wisdom.
2. Focus on the person, not the problem
This one takes some practice.
Especially for leaders who identify as fixers or problem solvers.
But when it comes to developing others, you’ll be more effective if you avoid diving straight into problem-solving mode.
How?
- By making space to explore the context surrounding the problem, including your coachee’s feelings, beliefs and values.
- By embracing the belief that the person in front of you is absolutely capable of finding their own solutions and ways forward.
- By trusting that the insight, connection and empowerment gained through a coaching approach far exceed the short-term benefits of providing a quick solution.
3. Reflect back what you hear and observe
Sounds simple.
And it can be.
But it’s also incredibly powerful.
Taking time to mirror back our understanding of what the coachee is expressing verbally and non-verbally:
- Helps the coachee feel seen and heard
- Confirms mutual understanding
- Helps deepen the coachee’s self awareness and sense of clarity
4. Honour your coachee’s uniqueness
The person you’re coaching may have many things in common with you.
They might be experiencing a situation similar to one you’ve been in.
When we see similarities, it can lead us to make assumptions about how a person feels or what they need.
This is a normal tendency, but it takes away from the coaching experience.
Here’s how to navigate it:
- Notice the assumptions you’re making, and practice leaning into curiosity instead.
- Trust your coachee’s wisdom and their unique journey.
5. Bring a grounded presence to the conversation
Notice how you’re showing up to your coaching conversations.
If you arrive feeling rushed / frazzled / distracted, your coachee is going to feel that.
A grounded presence will support your coachee in regulating their own nervous system and accessing their creativity and insight.
Here are some ways to cultivate greater presence in your coaching conversations:
- Prioritize your self-care.
- Where possible, schedule coaching conversations for times when you feel well resourced (maintaining presence demands energy).
- Set a few minutes aside to check in with yourself and do whatever you need to do to feel present in your body before you begin a coaching conversation.
- When you notice yourself getting in your head during a conversation, bring your attention to your physical body.
This tip might seem a little airy-fairy, but I’d argue it’s the most impactful step leaders can take to enhance their coaching effectiveness.
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If you’re interested in developing your leadership team’s coaching skills, please reach out. I’d be happy to co-develop a workshop or series of training sessions for your team.