Holding space for challenging emotions

I’ve been inside of some heavy emotions recently.

Last night, my husband noticed my sadness and asked what I needed.

I asked for him to just sit with me.

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He could have reminded me of all the things I have to be grateful for.

Or cracked a joke to make me smile.

Or attempted to move me towards solutions.

Or offered me a cookie.

But instead he asked what I needed, then sat quietly by my side.

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It is such a gift to be given the space to work through our challenging emotions.

To have someone validate our experience.

To let us know that it’s ok to feel how we feel.

When we have this space to feel into our emotions, that energy is able to move through us.

And that movement enables us to naturally shift into a more creative, problem-solving state.

In our own time and in our own way.

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Often, our response to someone else’s big emotions mirrors back our relationship to our own.

It can be really hard to sit with another person’s anger, sadness, grief or fear.

To get away from the discomfort, our inclination might be to encourage the other to quickly shift to a positive mindset or jump to solutions.

But this tendency to skip past our feelings only causes greater suffering.

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The key to non-judgmentally holding space for others is to learn to sit with our own full spectrum of emotions.

When we learn to ride the waves within ourselves, we feel less threatened when we see them arising in others.

And we can then create spaces where others can authentically share what they are feeling and let their emotions move through them.

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What would it look like for you to welcome your full spectrum of emotions?

One of the outcomes of coaching that my clients often share is the ability to better understand and sit with their own emotions. This helps them in their lives and leadership. If you’d like support as you explore this area for yourself, please reach out.