Harnessing your ambition

There’s a part of me that’s wildly ambitious. When left unchecked, I can become entranced, fixated on conquering goals until they bend to my will.

This part of me used to call the shots in life and work. And that worked, for a long while. Until it didn't.

In my mid-twenties, I funneled every ounce of my ambition into the gruelling pursuit of something that, in retrospect, was never meant for me. Along the way, I’d seriously neglected my needs and strayed from the things that mattered most to me.

When the dust of disappointment settled, I could see how much suffering my stubborn determination had caused. The pain from this experience led me to question everything about myself, and the conclusion was heartbreaking: the ambitious, determined part of me was “bad”. And it most certainly couldn’t be trusted.

I’d flown too close to the sun, got scorched, and concluded my love of flying was the problem.

As a result, I embarked on a journey to reconstruct my identity. An idealized image of a serene, contented yogi became the new target.

My ambitious side was shoved into the shadows, cast as the villain in my personal development story.

Ambitious Rebecca = Bad.
Calm, contented Rebecca = Good.

And that worked, for a bit. Until it didn't.

I quickly learned that I had swung too far in the opposite direction. The suffering that came with hiding and shaming a very real part of myself began to surface.

So once again, I was called to adjust. It took time, a generous dose of self-compassion, and profound introspection to gently reunite with my ambition. I learned to trust and befriend it without letting it dominate me, recognizing the gifts it brings when channeled skillfully. Space opened up to hold the polarities of ambition and contentment within myself.

Life, as it turns out, is a delicate balance. Ambition (or any other tendency) can easily lead us astray if we lean too far in one direction or the other—whether avoiding it altogether or allowing it to consume us entirely.

For those exploring ambition in your own lives, here are some recommendations:

1. Get curious about your relationship with ambition: Is it a dirty word for you, or do you find yourself identifying strongly with it? How is your current orientation serving you?

2. Understand that ambitious tendencies are neither inherently good nor bad: Ambition is a tool, capable of being harnessed with both skill and recklessness.

3. Clarify what truly matters: Delve into your values and aspirations to form a genuine connection with what is meaningful to you.

4. Align goals with your values: Purposefully define goals that align with your core values and aspirations.

5. Channel ambition skillfully: Direct your ambition toward your aligned goals with a blend of determination and non-attachment. In other words, hold your goals gently.

6. Maintain balance: Stay attuned to your internal equilibrium. If the rhythm feels off—either too rigid or too chaotic—take time to recalibrate.

In this delicate dance of ambition, finding the sweet spot requires an intimate understanding of yourself, an acceptance of your inherent complexities, and a commitment to navigating the ever-shifting currents with grace.

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